The struggle for most people who are at risk of having an eating disorder is to juggle between those two alternative feelings of “ too much”, versus “not enough”.
Let me clarify what I mean by this.
Usually, when one is anxious and tends to lack self-confidence, he may start questioning himself and reflecting upon existential thoughts.
A common black and white thinking pattern is to feel that on the one hand you have too much stress, emotions, thoughts and questions to deal with, whereas on the other hand you don’t have enough love, affection, support or self-confidence to deal with it.
And this feeling can be declined endlessly:
- You have too much work to do, there are too many codes in life, but for such little meaning and fulfillment.
- You have too many relationships to nurture and take care of, but with so little reward.
- You consume so much, but for such little happiness in the end.
- You have too many ideas and thoughts to change things around you, but with not enough power or confidence
- You want to discover too many things, but you don’t have enough time or money.
- You want to help people so much, but you’re afraid not to have enough reach
- Your feelings are too intense, but you don’t have enough internal resource to cope with them
- You eat too much food to compensate, but you never feel full enough, because of this constant overwhelming feeling of emptiness and self-doubt
A way to deal with this is to tell yourself that life isn’t about perfection. It is not because you fear of not doing something perfectly that you shouldn’t do it.
V*- my therapist- used to tell me that I do not need to be Perfect. I just need to be OK.
And the moment you start believing this, you will get a new and fresh perspective on life!
As mentioned in a previous article, Nobody is perfect, so just be yourself!
A happy Life is about finding a balance, not juggling between two extremes.