Have you ever had this feeling of emptiness? As if you were totally disconnected from your life, you didn’t want to feel anything anymore, and the smallest task became a major burden?
When you experience this feeling, you tend to isolate from others, and you suddenly hate yourself because nothing in your life makes sense anymore. You feel completely lost; you lose hope, and even hope of hoping again. You begin to question people’s lives as well, as they seem so dull and monotonous….And you suddenly ask yourself tons of existential questions which are, of course, impossible to answer.
This feeling is just so overwhelming, painful, and hard to get rid of that I wanted to share with you a few tips to escape from this dark state:
- You can begin by lying down and breathing consciously
- Then think about the activities that you like, such as dreaming, dancing, seeing friends, party, doing sports, cuddle with your boyfriend, make picture frames
- And start to list the things that define your life, without judging them. For example: I work in Investment Banking, I am French, I am 25, I live in London with my boyfriend, We’ve known each other for 7 years. I’ve been practicing yoga for a year. I also like to run on the week end. My friends live all over the world. My parents and sisters live in France. I see them about 5-6 times a year.
- Then try to associate feelings to the statements you just made. For instance: I feel stressed about my job as I am under a lot of pressure, and my boss doesn’t want to hear that I would like to evolve. I feel lonely sometimes as I don’t see my family and close friends very often. I am happy to live with my boyfriend but feel uncertain about long term plans as we don’t talk about it as much as I would like to. I am often bored on the week end as our program is quite monotonous when we stay in London…
- Finally, identify potential actions that could help you feel better, such as: I will take some time to look for another job. I will also schedule a meeting with my boss and remind her of my hard work and achievements, as well as my desire to grow in the firm after 3 years in my current position. I will call my parents each week-end to catch up on the phone. I will also text my sisters and see if I can give them job hunting tips remotely. Last, but not least, I will talk to my boyfriend about both our near term plans (highlighting the importance of spending quality time together on the week end) and our long term plans (Does he want to get married? And to have kids?)
Doing this will help you put things in perspective and inhabit your body again.
Besides, a good piece of advice is to surround yourself with people who wish you well, and help you grow. This will change your life for the better. You will feel empowered to do the things you love and experience the daily bliss of happiness you deserve.
So don’t be afraid to fill yourself with all the feelings you have! They are here for a reason! And they will help you pave your own way to happiness!