Friends are so precious… and they can bring a lot of joy into our lives. Our true friends are always here for us: they make us laugh when we feel down, give us confidence, help us put things in perspective and make us love each instant to the fullest by doing silly things and enjoying being together.
But it is easy to be disappointed by your friends, especially when you’re a demanding person and set such high standards for people around you including yourself.
Let me tell you 3 important things to keep in mind:
- People evolve with time
- Only take what people can give you
- Be flexible with others (and start with yourself!)
I think this is the best advice I can give you. Having lived abroad for almost 6 years, in 3 different continents, I had to say goodbye to many friends at several points in my life. It was never easy. And it is always when you start having really close friends that you need to let them go to start a new beginning…
And when you come back, people have lived their lives in the meantime, they may no longer have the same lifestyle or the same group of friends…and on top of that, you have idealised each of them by remembering only their positive traits of character since you left them…
All of this may leave you feel sad, or disappointed because you may have lost the “connection” with your friends. But don’t worry, you’ll make new friends! You will share new interests with them, and they will help you grow!
Besides, even when you have good friends, they may take time to answer your messages, or turn down all of your invitations…which can be quite frustrating. But if you try to analyse what each of your friend has to give you (whether it is regular advice/ trust/ listening to you/ doing sports, etc…), you will learn to accept that this is already a precious gift. So try to focus on what each of your friends gives you, and don’t expect to receive more than that! This will also help you lower your standards!
At last, each of us has a friend who is never available, or always cancels our plans last minute.
This used to irritate me so much, especially when I had taken the time to organise a nice evening or day out…But tell yourself that it is ok to change plans. And learn that it is also ok for YOU to change plans or say no to an invitation. And it doesn’t matter. It is life!
However, I have also learnt not to cling to a friendship when it has become a one-way relationship. For instance, when you are the only one asking for news, or suggesting to meet up…You do it for a while, but in the end you realize that it is not a sound relationship, and that you do not get anything out of it…This happens, so sometimes, we need to “Let it be”!
In a nutshell, don’t be afraid to continuously make new friends! And the more you pay attention to what each of them has to offer you, the more fulfilled you will be in your relationships, and the less disappointed you will be with your friends, as you will learn to accept them the way they are.