Letter to my Mom

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Ma chère Maman,

First of all let me start by saying that I love you. I love you with all my heart.

You cannot imagine all the positive things you brought into my life…. Ambition, courage, tenacity, dynamism, but most importantly: Faith and love of others.

Even though you have your own principles, I am amazed at the capacity you have to evolve and listen to your daughters’ feedbacks to become a “cool Mom”. You have accepted our boyfriends and make them feel very welcome each time we visit you. You also take the time to go shopping with us sometimes now!

What touched me the most is how much you’ve  improved your message recording skills… It basically went from “Hi Claire, it’s your Mom. It looks like I’m disturbing you. So, when you have time, call me back”… to “Hey Darling, it’s mummy. I just wanted to have some news. I love you”!!

 …And it feels very good! To know that we can count on you. That no matter what happens; you’ll be there for us.

It wasn’t always easy. I remember when I grew up, I felt like there was this huge wall between us: you were the Adult, and we were the Children.
You wouldn’t share your emotions very easily, and I was suffering about it. I wanted to know everything about you: where you grew up, how you felt at school, who were your friends, when was your first kiss, why you chose to marry Dad and not one of the two guys who proposed to you beforehand? (and who they were, by the way…)
I felt like you wanted to forget about your life before us, because you were not happy, or you did not feel confident?

I do know that deep inside, you are quite fragile, and very sensitive. You want to feel loved.
But why do you have this façade of a rock, so secret, discreet and impenetrable…? Why are you so hyperactive all the time? What do you want to hide?

Mom, let me tell you something: you are an amazing person. You run half marathons, you even did the Tough Mudder, you climbed the Mont Blanc, you’ve been working for 7 years as a volunteer. You’re smart, you’re funny and you look gorgeous. So don’t be so humble all the time! Allow yourself to be a bit under the spotlight sometimes!

All I want is for you to be happy. You’ve given us so much already. I remember when I was telling you “How can you be fulfilled in your life without having a job? Why are you always nagging me?”. But now it all makes sense. We were your top priority. And you wanted is for us to have the best education possible, and to feel loved.

But now it’s your turn Mom! Go and explore the World! We’ll be fine. We’ll look after each other. And if we miss you too much, we will look at the moon, and know that you’ll be watching it too.

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3 thoughts on “Letter to my Mom

  1. Is your mom actually reading your blog? I think you can find some clue by looking at her childhood and how did her relation with her mom look like. Also, I feel like parents try to put a distance with their children to preserve them, until they turn adult. Parents are our parents and not our friends… So maybe she didn’t feel like answering your questions because she just wanted to keep her role… It is funny you raise this point because I have the impression that most of the time, children don’t want to answer their parents’ question, trying to keep their own life and experiences for themselves.

    As for me, I almost never said anything to my parents, and I suffered from another kind of distance but now it is becoming better and better. In any case, with or without saying it, the most important is knowing we are loved and that we can always count on them …

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    1. Hi Mary,
      Thank you for your comment. My Mom has the link to my blog, but she probably doesn’t read all the posts. You are right by saying that the most important thing is to feel loved by your parents and to know that you can count on them…. But it’s funny to see that in some families, there is such a separation between “The parents” and “the children”, and that both have difficulties confiding in each other because of this imaginary wall. Of course, I do not want my Mom to be my friend, but when you become an adult, you want more complicity with your parents, and you expect them to tell you a few anecdotes about their youth…
      If I may, how did you become closer with your parents, are you say that your relationship has become better and better?
      Thanks again for the support!
      xx

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  2. I am not quite sure that I can say my relationship has become better and better… I have to cope with the fact that my parents are all but expressive regarding their “loving” feelings. I just can’t blame them, it is what it is, and I know – at least for my father – that he loves us and is proud of us, he just doesn’t know how to say it.
    They have also put a distance with their kids, distance which tends to disminish now that we are grown up and that some of my brothers are now parents.

    I just know I will be much more expressive with my children, and try to build some more complicity between us, to feel like we are a whole and not just a role!

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