Tigrou in French means “Little Tiger”, and it is also my boyfriend’s nickname… I wanted to write a post about him because even though we’ve been together for 7 years now, he keeps intriguing me.
He’s always been there for me in his own way. What’s funny is that it took him a while to understand exactly what I was going through when I was suffering from bulimia. I was really ashamed to tell him that I was prone to those night binges. At first he didn’t make a big deal out of it and was just calling me the “night owl”. But when he would wake up and discover the whole pack of Crunchy Nuts or Coco Pops was gone, he started to worry. He then decided to hide his cereals in different parts of the flat. But I would always find it…whether it was in the oven, behind the sofa pillows, underneath the bed, and even once in his suitcase…This little game wasn’t helping me at all. So I decided to have a serious discussion with Pierre.
But for him, it was pretty straight forward: if you eat less, you’ll lose weight, but if you eat more, you’ll gain weight. Simple, mathematical.
It wasn’t until I met V*, my therapist, that I managed to express my feelings. I told Pierre that he was hurting me by denying I was sick. When I was waking up at night to binge, it was against my will. And the reason behind this is that I was tremendously lacking self-confidence. All the negative emotions I was feeling during the day at work: being stressed, ill-at ease, feeling weak, shy…where coming back up at night to my unconscious mind. But I kept wanting to fight it, instead of seeing it as a sign, that I needed to change a few things in my life.
Pierre suddenly became very comprehensive, and kept telling me how beautiful and smart I was, and that I could do anything I wanted with my life…
Wow, it felt really good to hear that, as hard as it was for me to believe.
Tigrou always inspired me, by his determination, his ambition and his sense of achievement. He is extremely adaptable and not materialistic at all. I was always surprised to see the facility with which he would let his friends borrow anything from him (his flat, his money, his clothes…). Besides, he is really close to Nature (it may come from the fact that he grew up in the countryside) and loves sports too.
We come from very different backgrounds: he is a only child and grew up in a very liberal environment, while I have 4 sisters and I received a catholic education at school. What is quite funny is that when we started dating, people thought it was only going to last for a couple of days, and they started to take bets on us….
But what intrigues me the most with Pierre is his Machiavelic mind. Let me explain what I mean. For example:
– When a girl goes out at night, it means she should wear high heels (and by high heels I mean stilettos). Flats aren’t even to be taken into consideration
– When a girl isn’t skinny, it means she’s fat. Obviously
– Earning less money means prostitution
– Writing a blog means exhibitionism
– Catholics means Naive
– When meat doesn’t come from his home town, it means it is risky to eat
– When guys dont like to go out in a Club, it means they are losers
And the list goes on… It is quite funny at first, to see someone have such sharp thoughts about everything…but it became a bit trickier when I was trying to heal, because I had to fight these “black and white” thoughts constantly…
But I won’t give up! A relationship is all about putting in common our vision of reality and help each other grow. We’ve come from such a long way already…and we still have a long way to go!